When was the last time you felt truly happy? Think back over the previous few days. Has anyone ever taught you how to be happy? In this blog post, let’s look a bit deeper at what creates authentic happiness, the mistakes we often make, and why we need to know how to create it ourselves.

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True happiness is not something you feel when other people approve of you and your actions; it’s something you feel when you honestly approve of your actions. So, the first big mistake we often make is that we think other people or things hold the keys to our happiness. It’s simply not true. What’s more, we often think people or events in our life create how we feel, but the truth is you make all of your feelings yourself, with your thoughts. So if our your circumstances don’t dictate how we feel, what does? Our thoughts about our circumstances create how we feel. When a situation comes along, our brains will make that situation mean something. For example, say you see a friend out and about, and they don’t say hi - you can make that mean, ‘they ignored me’, or you could make that mean ‘they probably didn’t see me’. One meaning or thought makes you feel rubbish, yet the other makes you feel good.

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This is fantastic news because you get to choose your thoughts! This isn’t to say you should only make happy thoughts. Feelings like frustration, sadness and fear are all necessary, they are part of being a human being. Trying to be happy all of the time isn’t the goal. As Sydney J. Harris puts it, ‘happiness is a direction, not a place’.

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All of our emotions are necessary and can be signposts for brave conversations we may need to have, but learning what makes us happy is essential to overcome life’s bumps and can be a coping strategy in helping us be more resilient.

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Have you ever asked yourself, ‘What makes me happy?’ have a think right now and list some things that have brought you joy since you were a kid. What did you learn about yourself? How can you experience more of these things?

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One little practice that can instantly make us feel happier is gratitude. It’s pretty hard to be cross when you’re grateful! Try it right now, think of something that made you cross recently and at the same time, think about something you are thankful for. The two emotions can’t exist at the same moment. So next time you’ve got spikey energy that you’d like to shift, think of something or someone you’re grateful for, and notice how you can jump back into feeling good.

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Your happiness is essential for your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing, so keep noticing the things that bring you joy. Combine doing things you love with gratitude and mindset mastery, and you will learn to thrive!