Friendship and Connections
"There is nothing on this earth more prized than true friendship" Thomas Aquinas
Friendship is fundamental to our wellbeing. Everything is more fun when you have a friend to share an experience with - whether enjoying a pizza, going shopping, playing sport or watching a movie! A good friend will make you laugh, make you feel comfortable in their company and should be someone you can be open, genuine and honest with. A friend is often the person we turn to when we need to talk, and this is why friends are so important in protecting our mental health. Being able to talk to someone who cares about you, who can listen, not judge and empathise with you are qualities you should look for in a good friend - and when you find this, invest in your friendship and cherish it! They are also qualities that you should aim to emulate yourself.
The benefits of friendship:
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Spending time with a good friend will improve your mood
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Having a friend that supports and encourages you will help you to reach your goals
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Socialising with others reduces stress and boosts your immune system
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Having a friend to lean on through tough times helps you to stay positive and maintain perspective
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Having a friend is a two-way relationship; being a friend to someone else boosts your own self-worth
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Friendships have to be cultivated and nurtured. Whilst social media can help to maintain friendship, it should never replace the authenticity or companionship that comes with spending physical time with someone.
How to connect with someone:
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Quite simply, SMILE!
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Invite conversation by sharing something about yourself and show an interest in what the person tells you.
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Compliment - it shows that you have noticed something about them and this simple act of kindness can instantly form a connection.
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Invite the person to spend time with you - go for a walk or sit and have lunch together; this can feel scary but the reward is a new connection or perhaps a friend for life! Just remember, if they say no, do not take it personally - use it as a rehearsal for the next time you try this.
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Be yourself! Don't try to be different to fit in - always be authentic and that way you will attract similar people to yourself, which is the best way to connect and begin a new relationship.
How to make up with a friend after a falling out:
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If the reason you fell out was because of something you said or did, be willing to apologise. Saying sorry can go along way to repairing a friendship. If you are unsure why you fell out, be willing to ask and pair this with an apology: "Did I say or do anything to upset you? I am sorry if I did, that was never my intention". Be willing to accept you might have been wrong and learn from the mistake.
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Talk honestly. Good friends should be able to talk openly about what caused the falling out. Listen to each other's points of views and try to empathise. Find a solution that you both agree with.
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Don't involve other people. It is important to have a direct conversation with the friend concerned; this avoids the situation escalating from others becoming involved, it shows you care enough to go to them directly and definitely don't use someone as a go-between. Using an intermediary isn't fair on the person you are involving and they may not relay messages honestly or correctly.
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Be quick to act. Don't stew on things else we can build them up in our minds to be greater than they actually are. When you do speak to your friend, call them or see them face-to-face as the written word lacks tone and emotion and can be misunderstood.
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Tell your friend you care and that you value your friendship.
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Accept that there is a chance that your friendship can't be repaired or will take longer to heal. This can be painful and, if it is something you are struggling with, then tell a parent or teacher. Stay civil and definitely don't gossip or be mean about the person.